Description:
What does it feel like to die in a video game? Not just the feeling of seeing your avatar die and resurrect in front of you on the screen, but how does it feel to deal with death in a game when you are facing a life threating disease in the real world? How can one experience the various aspects of life, with a focus on death, rebirth or resurrection, through a game and the player s avatar? These are several of the questions which will be explored in this essay based on the author s own personal experience. Through her diagnosis and subsequent treatments for cancer, the author played the MMORPG World of Warcraft. Originally played for fun, after her diagnosis, the game took on a new role. Along with Tahara, her shaman troll, the author experienced the game as a reflection of life, death, and rebirth. The game became less a distraction and more of a way to learn how to deal with her illness and her ultimate fear of death. Through this connection between herself and her avatar she gained a better understanding of not only dealing with death, but life.